I’ve just come back from lunch with my kindred spirit and good friend Lucy-Ann. As I have explained before, L-A and I are going through similar circumstances right now, growing an online business. Alongside that, we are also so similar in our outlook, our values and our visions. We shared a lovely time in Badgers tea room in nearby Alfriston….and I have come back home feeling uplifted, energised, and raring to go for 2009!!

I do find if amazing that Christmas and New Year is a time of such reflection: somehow that changing from December to January becomes more than the normal month to month transition. January 1st ISN’T just another day: its a watershed, a chance to draw a line under past behaviours and re-invent ourselves. My time with Lucy-Ann inspired me on this front - we spoke about the futures of our businesses, the challenges we face, and where we are going.

So, where am I going? Well, I suppose its useful to think of two different variations on that question: firstly, what are my dreams and secondly, what are my goals for 2009. The latter afterall, should just be stepping stones to the dream I wish to create. I’m hoping that by sharing my thoughts and wishes - putting them out there in the Universe - will help them manifest. So, this is what my blog post is about this week….

MY DREAM
Starting my life coaching qualification about this time last year, gave me a way of thinking about this in a more concrete way. Its easy to drift through life and somehow find yourself somewhere, not knowing exactly how you got there, or even knowing its actually where you DO want to be! Life coaching sets a path, an intention. And, in my early studies, I plotted a path - mine was to become the best coach I could be: to enjoy learning all there is to learn about how to coach - inspiring others to achieve their best in life or sport. I’m still on that path.

In my conversation with Lucy-Ann today, we talked about a book she had recently introduced me to - “Five wishes” by Gay Hendricks. I won’t spoil the ‘plot’ of the book, instead, if you have 20 minutes to spare, visit this link and watch the movie!

www.5wishesbook.com/video.php

Its made me think about what I want to do in order to look back on my life as a complete success - to live a fulfilling life with no regrets. One of my 5 wishes, and my big dream, is to start my own coaching business, to work for myself: its that path that will enable me to live to my fullest expression as a coach, to not feel beholdent to others, and to grow things in the way I want. Of course, there is fear: life as a University academic is ’safe’ - security, backing financially etc etc. And, right now, growing my coaching business within that safe environment suits where I am at. However, long term, I want to be free, to have my own kingdom.

I have been suppressing my real dream: my own premises with lab, office, consulting rooms thinking that a sport scientist should be housed in an academic institution: but really, of course its okay for a scientist to create their own lab. It was an obstacle I was creating out of fear. There is nothing stopping me having every bit of kit I have access to now - well, money maybe, but since when has that been a reason not to go for it?

Do I sound a bit blasé? Of course I am not: I know that to build a dream, you have to create stepping stones along the way - and these are the everyday goals to live by.

MY GOALS FOR 2009
So, what can I do now to ensure I take a step towards my vision of my own coaching business? By December 2009….
- I will be generating enough income from my coaching and sport science work to cover my salary costs and running of PBscience at the University
- I will have used the 12 months to learn more about how to coach, how to best communicate with my athletes and listen to their needs.
- I will have increased my knowledge of the cycling related literature and research
- I will have improved my systems for coaching: from the lab testing protocols I use, data analysis techniques, systems for collating training data, to how best communicate
- I will have generated an online resource that not only supports the learning of my athletes, but will also allow other coaches to bring a better service to their athletes
- I will have provided the opportunity to my athletes to go to another level of performance through the services we offer: like workshops, training camps and lab testing

Achieving these goals this year will take me further towards my dream. One step at a time. A personal goal for 2009 is to be patient and trusting in this process. One step at a time, not always pushing. My push dynamic took me a long way as an athlete, but there is another way: a more self-caring way. Just last week I was reading an article in Psychologies magazine: an interview with Sigourney Weaver, a favourite actress of mine. She is taking 2009 as a slower year, writing “I want to be involved, engaged - not skimming the surface on my way to something else. I’m looking forward to eating lunch with someone I love without watching the clock”. Wow, that resonated with every cell in my body!

THAT is what 2009 is about for me: I’ve said recently about how I have to slow down; in order to be at my best when I need to be, I need to re-charge my batteries. Doing less….BUT, in what I am doing, engaging more. I’m planning on being more selective, but going deeper into what I do. And, that’s really exciting for me!

Its one of the reasons I have decided to take a break from writing my personal blog. Recently, it had become like a chore - something else I had to fit into my busy week rather than the ‘me time’ it had started out as. Instead, I have decided to start a ‘Coach blog’ on PBscience - you’ll know I’m a very philosophical person, and I want to maintain that process. I am hoping that reflecting on my coaching role will bring something to me and my learning, but also give an insight into my role for my athletes and other people interested in the coaching process.

I’ll be setting up this blog on PBscience soon, so please go take a look!

Instead of blogging my personal journey, I am using 2009 to re-commit to my journalling time. I have lost this and want to reclaim it for my spiritual growth. Those of you that write a journal will know how that process helps you remain connected with self, with others and your journey.

I think its important to have goals: they ensure progress. However, its more important to dream - they inspire! Happy Christmas, and also wishing a rewarding 2009.

The passage of time – I’ve always found it an intriguing thing, time. In some ways it goes so quickly (as you are living it), but in looking back, some things seem like yesterday, others feel an eternity ago. I’ve just had a strange sensation as I got ready to write this week’s post – I located the photos in their folder, and saw a folder for December 2004: opening it, I came across photos from what was my ‘new flat’. Four years ago this Christmas I have been living here: like yesterday, but also, I feel I have never lived anywhere else.

I can’t believe it is Christmas again – that’s one obvious marker of time, the festive season. I have let myself feel a bit ‘Christmassy’: a brave visit into town the other day (yes, admittedly, to get to Starbucks!) and also when I went up to London to meet up with good friend and life coaching ‘guinea pig’, Clare. Walking along the embankment through the Christmas markets had a real sense of yuletide….although, not quite clear of the link between a cycling lizard and the season of goodwill? (answers on a postcard please). Of course, it was cycling related, so had to snap it!!!

Yes, time – where does it go? I mentioned last week that I have to slow down, as my times of ‘nothingness’ are very few and far between. I really do have a resolve to better protect those moments: if nothing else, it should slow down how fast my weeks come and go! I always had a mantra of ‘better to be busy than be bored’, but I am now learning that not doing anything is not boring….that it IS okay to not achieve something. Not having a clear outcome does not mean not doing anything (lots of double negatives, my English teacher of old Miss Smith, would have killed me!). I’m also slowing figuring out that Helen needs rest in order to cope with the busy life she leads. Maybe I have always got away with it not because I was younger, but because my busy times were never THIS busy? I don’t mind working long days, and in fact, I don’t think you would pick coaching as a career if you wanted a Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 job. No, in fact, when I spoke about my dreams to become the best coach I could be to Simon Jones (ex Performance Director of British Cycling) he ‘warned me’ it would be a 24/7 job, all consuming, and nearly as obsessive as being an athlete itself. I am starting to realize that! I don’t have only myself to look after: now I have 13 athletes in my charge. And, while they are all pretty good at taking care of themselves, Dr Evil is ever watchful �

My busy weeks include tasks like lab testing, writing training plans and keeping up to date with training files upload by athletes to their diaries (for this I often frequent a local coffee shop!). I love this process from A to Z. I also thrive on the contact I have with the athletes, so its fun having them come in to the labs not only for us to get good data on their fitness, but also to have time one to one to share their vision for the future months, creating a pathway down which they explore. I feel very privileged that they have chosen to invite me along!

This month is a busy month in the labs…it feels like I have swapped my chocolate advent calendar this year for an athlete calendar! Although a couple of my charges are coming in after the New Year for their tests, I have about 10 tests to get through in 3 weeks (as the Uni shuts down before Christmas). It doesn’t sound an awful lot, but put all the surrounding processes (data analysis, time to reflect on the results compared to their goals, produce a training plan) and the ‘gaps’ soon fill up. All good stuff, all really enjoyable but I do have to take stock and re-charge.

Time for me….I plan to take more of that. I managed a little time for me when I spent a lovely time with my friend Jill. Jill is also a cyclist, and one you will have seen on the blog before: in the lab as it happens! Jill and I went for a lovely ride on Saturday, a chilly, but sunny day – we soon warmed up. Although in my ‘home’ area of Surrey, I had explained to Jill by email earlier that week that I would prepare my Garmin to direct us around a route – simply because I did not know Surrey and Hampshire as a bikie, and my knowledge of the smaller roads was more limited. So, off we set with Garmin beeping at us: no, it didn’t quite go to plan. How come the ONLY two times I have got lost on a bike have been when following a Garmin? Not a good advert for the device am I? Nonetheless, we found a loop, if not a little longer than planned. It did mean the lunch at The Bull was so much more deserved

(I would also mention I met with my friend Jon in Guildford for coffee and cake at our favourite haunt, Café Zest, but he doesn’t like being mentioned in my blog, let alone photographed, so I will ignore this part of my week!).

So, again, more time for me. I have chosen to make this a New Year’s resolution – not because I really believe in them, but rather because I have already a 1001 things to do between now and then, and I’m reluctant to cancel! But, I have learnt my lesson, and know that self protection is critical. Work hard, rest hard will become my new mantra!

For a change, I have plenty of time to write my blog this week - in fact, me posting on a Sunday is a rarity! The reason? Well, I’ve picked up a darn cold, and its meant I have made myself ‘house bound’ this weekend.

Which is a shame, because I was meant to be on a Eurostar bound for Lille - I had been invited to exam a PhD there tomorrow. Unfortunately, the ’sniffles’ that started on Friday got worse and worse….it was SO bad yesterday that I ended up slouched on my sofa watching a dreaded hatrick of ‘Strictly’, X-factor and ‘I’m a celebrity’….my friends will know how bad I must have been feeling to let THAT happen!!!

Funnily, I had only been talking with Jo on Friday night, how my life needed to slow down. She had read the comment in last week’s entry about how I plug gaps in my diary. She emailed me today and said that maybe this cold was a message about slowing down. I agreed entirely, and that was exactly why I cancelled my trip this weekend. The Helen of old would have carried on regardless, battling through convinced that by tomorrow (when I would be on duty) I would be fine. No, not this time: I have slowed down and allowed myself to sit on the sofa all weekend - Bert and Ernie feel privilaged, lots of purring from them!

I’m not very good at doing nothing - and I have asked myself why that is over the last few years. I think I need stimulation, and begin to feel very uncomfortable in ‘nothing’. This is Helen’s constant need to achieve, to be doing something ‘useful’ with her time. Note, even today, I took this chance to tidy up my little veranda ready for the winter - “job done” was the voice in my head. Satisfaction…until I felt quite faint and had to come in and sit down again!!

So, sitting down has been better - and I have had a productive time looking at the training data of my athletes. I now have 12 on the books (and in fact my first PBscience client came on board this week - that’s very exciting!). By now, most of them have done 4 or 5 weeks of training, so progress is being seen. I’ve had some lovely feedback from the riders: a few of the guys I have just started working celebrating some good scores on the doors, even in November!

Its nice to know you are appreciated: the odd comments in emails, entries in training diaries, the last sentence of a telephone call - they all reward to the job. Enough to raise a smile, and help me realise that coaching is at the core of me….I love it. Of course, there is also the gifts too - and at the a3crg annual dinner Friday night, the team had got together a ‘little’ thank you for my work. The gorgeous plant is now sat on my window sill (I would have provided a photo, but I am still learning how to use my new phone!!!) It was a lovely evening, and worth the 4 hour round trip to attend - just a shame I didn’t realise my Eurostar trip would be off, as I could have made a little more of it: nevermind, think it was best I got back home while still feeling copus mentus!

The best bit of all was finding out that morning that I had passed my British Cycling Level Two coaching - very appropriate given the a3crg ladies were so involved, being the guinea pig cyclists under my watchful eye at Eelmore military training circuit. The cones, limbo poles and skills drills were well worth it - what’s next I wonder???

I know, another Lemsip!

Another busy week for Helen – when DON’T I say that??? As has been the case for the last 2 months really, my weekly challenge is balancing the demands of building a business with the doing of the business! PBscience takes more and more of my time, but I continue to progress, and make sure that I have a nice time working – often rewarding my planning, designing, implementing with a cup of coffee �

The weekend was about the implementation: with a3crg down on the Sunshine Coast for a weekend of pain fun. Although it means I don’t have a break from work, I’m in my element during these weekends. A chance to ‘get my hands dirty’, and actually BE a sport scientist! It so rewarding to work with a group of athletes, all eager to improve, but more exciting, is their desire to learn: about physiology and what determines performance. It was also a chance to learn more about one another, and to develop our ‘Teamship’ ideal. The ladies squad have visited me in Eastbourne on a few occasions now – in fact, it was pretty much a year ago this weekend that they first came down to take part in an experimental study looking at how people cope under reduced oxygen (think they were a little concerned this weekend that we might put them back in the torture chamber that is our altitude tent!).

The weekend started on Saturday with a team ride. Because we had to swap the plan around (due to impending bad weather on Sunday) it meant I didn’t have my SIS team mate Sarah on hand to take the ladies group (as I was braving a ride with the men, ouch!). So, I programmed the Garmin to take them on a 38 mile loop: and I kept an ear out for my mobile phone ringing – thankfully, it didn’t. And even more gratefully, I survived a 3 hour ride with the lads: quite pleased that I kept up, even on the hills. I’m retaining more fitness than I thought I would be getting out twice, maybe 3 times a week and with some running too. I’ve ridden with the ladies a fair bit now, so it was a nice change for me to get out with the men, especially as I coach 4 of the riders: Seb, Paddy, Bryce and Jez. Riding with my athletes is an important aspect of my coaching work: you get to see them in action, you have time to engage in good discussion, and its nice to share their training with them. I think I learn more about riders through this. And, as I have said before, right now, its my motivation to stay fit!!!

I coped, but I was a little lightly toasted � It took a large coffee to keep me going through the afternoon session with them (!) but at least it was on a topic close to my heart: Teamship. It is always a little nervy for me, running these sessions. They are only as successful as the team make them – lead balloon risk is high! It means I run a little low on energy sometimes, so having done a hard ride too, I was needing my focus. Thankfully, the team ran with it – and we are building some nice work together. By the evening meal, a lovely trip to Café Belge, the team bonding was really apparent – job done, I wish I could bottle it!!

Sunday, I awoke to rain and the wind: good choice to swap days! I was really excited as I went into the lab that day. I love testing athletes, and talking about sport science – its where my heart is, and I consider myself very fortunate having PBscience allow me to do more of this. It feels very right for me. Part of this is that I know I am a sport scientist that can bring more than just the science – the ‘mind / spirit’ parts of the triad are just as important as the ‘body’ – and I feel my riders value this. So, while they expect me to do an hours talk on physiology, they value the equal time devoted to looking more holistically at performance: in Sunday’s case, a performance review of 2008 and how a structured reflection on this can set them up for an even better 2009.

What I didn’t expect was to break down in tears during this presentation! One of the exercises we did was to remember a memorable performance in 2008: for me, a clear winner – the National 10 mile championship. I described my approach, my attitude, the preparation, the training, the nutrition: all the parts I put together to bring about a ‘peak’ experience. I also detailed why it was a special event: my Mum and Dad being there, some of my best friends, my SIS team mates, the fact a3crg were the hosting club, a local event, my probably ‘last event’. All these things: and then to get my ‘best’ ever result (probably because I let go of an attachment to the outcome and just rode to my strategy) by coming 5th in such a strong field, AND win the team prize, AND a personal best for time and power output achieved. As Bryce said later, it was ‘like the stars, moon and planets all aligned’!!! As I ran through the latter part of the description, I started to get overwhelmed and the tears came. I didn’t just have watery eyes, oh no…..full blown sob ensued! A little uncomfortable for a moment – especially when I looked up and saw 14 faces looking at me, perhaps not quite expecting that either!!! But, I didn’t feel embarrassed. My history has been one of not showing vulnerability, always having to be stiff upper lip, and strong Helen. Many people know me in that image. Yet, I have learned to be more comfortable as sensitive Helen – that is the REAL Helen. And, I was able to stand up in front of a room of people, many of whom I coach, and ‘be me’ – without being ashamed of that emotion. At the end of the weekend, that was my best memory. I know it showed how passionate I am, and how motivated I am to inspire through my own experiences – whether they be good ones, or perhaps uncomfortable ones.

This group of 14 athletes inspired me too. I thought I was going to cry again as I watched their efforts on the bikes during the 3 lab tests they did. Throughout the day, they had to perform 3 trials, all to exhaustion. The first was 3 minutes long, the second 12, and the final 7 minutes. The 3rd was a challenge indeed, especially after our lovely lunch at The Ship! Watching how the team supported one another during the lab tests was quite stirring stuff. Feedback from the riders was incredibly motivating: no one had experienced such a team spirit – I think what we are creating is pretty unique in amateur sport, and I am proud to be a part of that. Well worth giving up my weekends for!

No peace for the wicked as they say….and as I was driving to Gatwick at 4am the next morning, I must have been very wicked! My trip up to Manchester had been planned a while now: typical me, see a gap in my diary and I plug it full! Lesson to self, New Year’s resolution needed around that! I have always been fascinated by the idea of commuting by plane, and I got to experience it as last – another experience that working on PBscience has offered me. I was flying to up north to visit SIS HQ, to meet with SIS director Tim, and my team manager, Pete. I wanted to share my PBscience venture with them, and to speak about ways our two companies can collaborate. The two of them have been fantastic to me since I joined the team in 2002. OK, the team have collected some silverware over that period, but the level of support given to me professionally and personally, is something I wanted to return. I had been planning to do a bit of a hard sell, carefully planning how I would describe the service, its benefits, and its attractiveness: but I needn’t have worried. Both Tim and Pete were very happy to align our two companies – perhaps a mark of the mutual respect we have built? We talked over some ideas, and I know it’s the start of a new type of relationship. Their experience in setting a company up from scratch is something I know I can learn from, and Tim in particular is as passionate about the application of science to sport as I am – a kindred spirit.

The trip also gave me chance to see around SIS HQ for the first time: the factory tour was exciting for me: I have never seen so much SIS product – Bottles of Rego, Go, PSP, packets of Go bars and gels piled from the floor to the roof of the warehouse. I was like a kid in a sweet shop! The smell was quite over powering – trust me to visit on the day they are doing a Chocolate Rego run � It smelt like the Cadbury’s factory floor! A fun trip, and well worth the long day…especially as I also got most of the morning catching up with team mate and good friend Denise. She had done the ace job of rounding up Tim and Pete for me (their diaries are busier than mine, as they have a couple of Pro Tour teams to keep fed and watered these days – next week for them, Tenerife!)

Quite appropriate to be speaking with SIS about Sports Nutrition right now: my friend and close business associate, Lucy-Ann have been getting our heads together on how we might link up too. L-A has her own nutrition consultancy, so its an obvious link between PBscience and her new web enterprise, Daily Bread. Tuesday morning, we had another of our monthly breakfast meetings – and the venue is becoming a habit – Bills!

Its now the end of November, and 2009 is just around the corner. January is a big month for me, and PBscience: but I’m gaining in confidence that its going to work. Weeks like this last one help me underline my passion and my skill for coaching. Funnily enough, one of the first texts on my new gadget (new phone, lovely!) was how I was ‘living the dream’…..mmm, maybe I am getting close

The last 7 to 10 days has given me a feel of a building a community. I’m now coaching 11 athletes - something that would not have been possible before the PBscience project was enabled by my work boss. On top of that, I have my coaching work with the a3crg cycling team too - all in all, its a busy life, and quite taxing too, as I try and cope with the balance of developing the business (creating the website) with THE business (the coaching) itself.

There is no better example of bringing me into consciousness - I am living my dream job now - than when I have a group of cyclists pedalling furiously in front of me!! The a3crg turbo sessions are a lot of fun - seeing people push their limits is stirring for the soul, and I love being a part of helping them.

I was particularly touched having Rachel there; our very own paralympic champ! I got very excited to see her Gold medal from Beijing, and quite nervous whan handling it (I managed not to drop it!). What a thrill, to have someone like her in our fold. It was also rewarding to hear that she got something from our session: the turbo training, but also my talk on optimising sports performance. I enjoy doing these talks, and feel I can help make a difference….its what my own journey in sport was all about: thankfully, I still get chance to work on similar issues through my coaching - to be the best I can be.

Rachel didn’t join the ladies squad for the ride the next day - and I don’t blame her!! At 7.30am, I called our hostess, Jo, to check in with how she felt about riding in the wind and rain. She was unrelenting so I knew I couldn’t let the side down: committment!!

Thankfully, I had my afternoon of coffee drinking to look forward to. Nothing unusual there then? But, my partner in crime was a special one: my team mate and good friend Annie, over from Guernsey for our trip to the Association of British Cycling Coaches conference the next day in Coventry. We’re like peas on a pod, our perspectives, our sense of humour - we could be sisters….well, the rather large height difference would suggest not We spent the whole afternoon talking about our coaching work, building our dream lifestyles around new careers and business ventures. The chat went on into the evening too, as we headed down to The Swan. We stopped talking around 8pm though….as Annie forced me to watch X-factor!

Not sure how I got to sleep, X-factor was very exciting after all (!) and we needed the sleep to power us through our day trip to Coventry. Neither of us knew what to expect, this being the first year of membership to the ABCC for both of us. Not sure we will go again: the time spent together made it worthwhile - don’t think there was a minute’s silence - oh yes, there was - at 11am for 2 minutes We chatted all the way there and back to Gatwick! But, we felt ‘out of it’ really: two females, under the age of 40…we definately stuck out. Louis was there, giving a presentation of training with power - and it seemed like a real novelty to the gathered audience. Its probably a reflection of how sport is organised in the UK: a lack of profesionalism. Its not a criticism of how it used to be, or of these volunteers - after all, I am involved in sport because of people like this. But, there is a feeling that we need to get more professional to help the next generation of athletes break through.

Of course, PBscience is based at the total opposite of the scale - a fully costed, profit making concern. I’ve thought alot about where to place myself on the market, and I’m confident I’m making the right choice for me, as a sport scientist. Quality coaching, even if you have to pay for it! No complaints yet

Most of my athletes are now into their training, and prep for the 2009 season. I’ve enjoyed my chats with them this week, getting feedback on how they are all getting back into the habit. Its quite tough to begin with: after the break, it takes a few weeks to win back the fitness you had at the end of the season…but they will get back there….and more on top, I hope. The best moments are when I can see the progress at first hand, like at the turbo sessions, the squad rides, or when I meet up with riders on a one to one basis. I am planning to have regular rides with people throughout the winter / spring: not only to keep myself fit (6am turbo sessions are becoming the norm!), but also, to build the coach-athlete relationship. Saturday, I joined RIchard and Tony on a ride - this helps us get to know one another better: proof of that was when Tony said “you’re addicted to Costa Coffee aren’t you?”

…was the exaclamation from Jo after we climbed Duncton Hill on route to watching the a3crg hill climb with weekend. It was quite a beast - even on my new, superlight Cervelo R3! Mind you, I’m sure the weight savings of my new bike frame are far than out weighed with my new body frame….both Jo and I reflected on the challenge being all the more with lower than usual fitness, and higher than more kilos!

A fun ride though - and a fun event to watch. Hill climbing is a strange kind of racing: every year, the smaller cyclists come out of the woodwork to even up the score of the years’ racing on the flat. Pure power is no match for power to weight in the autumn fixture diary. Its why a few of us chose to be spectators rather than participants! But, there we still enough brave ones - the best being Graeme who paired up with his son Leo The Dinosaur

The hill is such a great metaphor for life - sometimes, life is all about surmounting those challenges, digging deep into our resources, like we dig deep into our lungs for air. Why do we do it? To get to the top, to achieve the view…and to enjoy those moments where we can take our feet off the pedals and freewheel. The bigger the hill, the more enjoyable the descent!

I’m feeling a bit like that at the moment - PBscience, my coaching business, is requiring all my reserves right now. I know that the effort now will bring me the life I want, my dream - to be the best coach I can be, and to help others achieve their potential. But right now, it feels like I am turning my pedals too slowly - the end result feels a long way away. To get to the summit, I’m going to have to get out of my saddle!

I would like to have the option of changing the gear, to slow down a little, but I have deadlines to hit. I also have to prioritise my dream: which is the ACTUAL coaching! There is no point having an all singing, all dancing website through which to engage my athlete community if I don’t have any athletes! That’s why, the 11 riders I now work with are my priority. Its that time of the year when riders start to return to structured training. So, this week (alongside PBscience development) I have been writing training programmes. Its fun this time of the year - you feel like its starting afresh, a chance to get really excited by the road ahead. OK, we could stay with the hill analogy here: at the bottom of the mountain, looking up. The great thing about coaching? You are making that ascent with somebody…..no, not on a tandem!!

Work has been incredibly busy, but I have found time to mix business with pleasure: two working breakfasts discussing the facsheets with partners on the project, Jeanne, and Lucy-Ann (the latter being in my favourite place, Bills!).

I’ve also had time for some pleasure - even if I have to strictly timetable it! Post ride hill climb on Sunday, I continued to ride southwards from Goodwood down to the beautiful market town of Chichester. I say town, its technically a city (and its Costa situated directly opposite the Cathedral perfectly placed for a post ride recovery coffee). It nearly didn’t happen though, as Jeanne ended up in Winchester - well, it was nearly right! It meant I elongated my ride by going northwards again to escape getting cold - my first 50 mile ride in a long while

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The extra miles suited me fine, having been at my Mum and Dad’s Halloween party the night before - and lets just say, Mum makes sure no one EVER goes hungry! I was well fuelled by the time I met Jo next morning - but hills are harder to climb with extra ballast….just like life again?

Helen HAS been a busy bee! But as ever, I remain excited by it all – energised rather than drained by the travelling, the people I have met, and the things I am learning I’m truly immersing myself in the role of sport scientist and coach. Since going part time 2 years ago, I would say this is the most active I have been as a sport scientist in the academic sense of the work.

One of the ‘fun’ parts of being a sport scientist is that I get to experiment on myself – sadistic as that may sound! But, it teaches you SO much – and I don’t feel you can ask others to do mad and zany things in a research study unless you are prepared to do it yourself? So, this last 10 days, its meant being a ‘runner’ in a study looking at how we fatigue in two different types of exercise: on the flat, and one running up a hill – 10% in fact!! I’m still only a part time runner, so doing 12 runs to exhaustion has been, well, exhausting! But, its mentally more than anything: in run number 1, you’re thinking “I have to go through this another 11 times yet� Aah, the wonders of science!

I got the chance to step on another treadmill last weekend, when I went up to visit Jamie in Loughborough. He’s now working at the English Institute of Sport, and it was the first time I have had chance to go up and see him since he started in post 12 months ago. We also took time to have a cuppa with Steve, now head physiologist at the EIS base there, but once, my first PhD student! I’m realising how time has passed.

Its now 4 years since Jamie and I have been apart, but we still maintain a very close friendship: even if we don’t get to see one another so often. It was fun to see him, his new house, and to hit the roads around Loughborough on our bikes.

It’s a town surrounded by beautiful countryside, and with nearby Leicester, I didn’t even have to forgo my Costa fix – opportunity taken when Jamie and Steve were in meetings Friday afternoon

My reason for being ‘up north’ was not only to see Jamie, but also, to attend a 2 day symposium on Cycling power output measurement hosted by Hunter Allen. My path has come to cross with Hunter as he is one of the world’s leading coaches, and probably THE guru on training with power. He wrote the software I use with my athletes, so when I had chance to learn more about the area from the ‘horses mouth’ there was NO way I was going to miss out! Hunter is based in the US, so its not that common to have chance to pick his brains. I learnt SO much – I really resonate with his coaching style, his philosophies and his passion for cycling. I’d like the opportunity to work more with him in the future.

So, I’ve been on the road a lot, and that doesn’t look like changing much for the coming few weeks. I still have that feeling I need to slow down a little bit – for my long term sanity! – but I’m also keen to keep this momentum going. I’ve got 1001 ideas to roll with in my coaching business project, especially after my weekend with the brains of Jamie and Hunter.

I have found time to do some fun stuff with my bike! Jeanne and I did tandem day number 2, and I can safely exclaim we are experts! I think our confidence may still outweigh our competence (!) and no doubt, our ambitions were raised by the thought of cappuccino and croissant at Bill’s in Lewes….but this week, we managed nearly 2.5 hours without arguing too much.

Final bit of bike news, and exciting stuff: I have my new bike!!! Still riding Cervelo (thanks to my sponsors, Madison) but have swapped my Soloist for a lighter R3 – well, with all the eating and wine drinking I am doing these days, I need to find some kilos from somewhere � Had my first ride on it yesterday (a bit scary on the icy roads – when did Eastbourne last have snow???) and it rode like a dream. Looking forward to riding on it some more this weekend: I have a plan to ride up to Ash Vale to see my family this weekend….but that forecast doesn’t look too great. It wouldn’t normally be a problem, but I can’t get my new (white) bike dirty, can I?

Recently I have started working with a new life coach, someone to act in part as a supervisor in my own life coaching work, but also, someone to help me along my journey in life. And as well as challenging, its been a lot of fun!

I first met Leanne at the Association of Coaching conference in London last year - she was presenting on the topic of ‘recovery and addiction’. She was someone I wanted to hear speak, as I could see her expertise being useful to tap regarding the field I work in: exercise is after all a BIG addiction or at least an obsession at times - and I am no exception! I am also aware of how people’s need for recognition through achieving results can be a limit on their sporting performance - and again, I could see Leanne helping me explore that: she works with dancers too, and I see a lot of similarities in that performing art and sport.

In my session Friday, we spoke alot about a need to understand the different aspects that make up our being. We came onto this, as I had been talking about my awareness of how I need to slow down and find a more peaceful lifestyle. I love what I do, and I don’t have any intention of changing that, but I do have this tendency to over fill myself and diary with obligations - nothing I don’t want to do, but sometimes, I take on stuff that compromises my deepest wishes. So, with Leanne I explored this “self sabateur” behaviour. She asked me to ‘play’ with the different ‘people’ in Helen….I chose Smurfs to make it more fun!! I know there is a fun-loving smurfette inside me - she’s just being drowned out by the loudmouthed King smurf who controls me sometimes!!! And that’s the key, embracing ALL aspects of ourselves, but allowing them to exist in equal measure. I don’t want to lose ‘Workaholic Smurf’ (I’m creating my own range here) as she is useful to me when deadlines are tight, and in having motivation to build PBscience. BUT, if I complain of an energy drain, I can’t exactly carry on like it.

Coaching supervision is imperative in my view - how can you coach others (life or sport) if you have not taken a direct look at yourself? This point was re-iterated to us on Saturday at the 6th (and final) of my Life Coaching training days. Its nearly a year ago to the day that I started on the Life Coach journey - so it was a time for reflection as I had my last visit to Latimer House. I feel I have learnt so much - and in fact, it was the day I have got the least from: I feel I am ready to qualify, to take the next step. Its not that I feel I know everything, but now its time to go out and get my hands dirty. Just a handful of practice coaching sessions to complete; my written assessment (homework over Christmas!) and a final practical assessment over the phone. I’m hoping to wrap up early in the New Year.

Knowing me, it will be time to look for another course to take - mmmm, I wonder when I can do my British Cycling Track coaching award????

Last week was in fact a typical example of me flying left, right and centre. As well as being in London to meet Leanne and Latimer on Saturday for the coaching day, being in that vicinity allowed me to catch up with Mum and Dad, and also, to continue my work with a3crg. Of course, my visit was primarily family centred, as even in my role of King Smurf I couldn’t control Mum to change her big birthday!!! I won’t reveal her age, as that would be rude of her daughter (but if you look closely enough in the photo below, you may be able to read the badge!!!)
We had a lovely evening, yes you guessed it, down the local pub. Our only disappointment was no CNDP on the menu, tut tut. We were eyeing up the Christmas Day menu though - and I’m hatching a cycling ride plan

The a3crg meeting Friday night was great opportunity to catch up with people I had not seen since the Duo, in particular, the riders on the team that I coach. With our ‘bring a plate’ arrangement, we are all fed and watered well and hopefully, that enables well fuelled discussions. We needed it Friday, as we discussed the somewhat ‘contentious’ issue of Teamship. I hadn’t predicted it to be contentious though - after our ladies team discussion some months ago, we really believed that rolling it out at whole ‘club’ level was something that would go down favourably. I believe it will, with time, but certain areas of the membership were a little more cautious. And, we have to take that into account: afterall, that is what Teamship is built on, a common wish to jump on the bus.

I rounded off my weekend travels with a meet up with Chris and Lin. I’ve been coaching Chris for several years now. Lin, however, took a break from cycle racing, but has just asked me to coach her again through the PBscience project. I’m very happy to have her back on board, especially as she is also joining up to a3crg. The three of us shared a lovely meal (I had to have pizza, Italy withdrawal symptoms) and talked about 2009. I’m doing that with a lot of my athletes right now, as they all wind down for the year and set their sights to things to come. It will soon be long winter rides again, and I’m looking forward to joining them on their literal travels.

I’ll just have to work out how all my inner Smurfs can get on my bike

Well, after all my talk, I’ve finally gone and done it: I’ve just returned from my first tandem ride! And, it was in some ways JUST what I expected, but in some ways MORE than I expected!!!

Jeanne and I had been planning our postponed tandem ride for this weekend, but the weather forecast was rather grotty - we chanced our luck this morning, and hoped the 30mph winds waited until we finished. It meant a shorter ride than we had planned, but with hindsight, this was a good move. 1h 30 and 23 miles later, we were both exhausted!!

I did not expect the experience to be so taxing - mentally, it took a lot of effort: the concentration needed with the different steering and balance; the co-ordination of the pedalling particularly as we got going and stopped, approached corners, hills etc. I likened it to riding a ‘fixed’ in some ways….because you can’t really pedal freely - the other person has to be there with you, or the machine jolts. I think its fair to say, the first 30 minutes was stressful for the pair of us - a way to test a friendship for sure!! Jeanne even commented what a fine ‘team building’ exercise it would be: watch out my riders at a3crg

Post ride, over lunch and coffee in Badgers at Alfriston (we needed the treat to warm ourselves up on a chilly, windy autumnal day) we discussed the experience. We both agreed we had enjoyed it, and glad we had made the effort to go out even if the weather was not great. But we spoke with a slight reticence in our voices - I think we both found it challenging: Me on the front - not just a ‘new’ skill, but almost an unlearning of a previous skill (road bike riding does not help you in the slightest!); the responsibility of steering, braking, gear changing. Jeanne on the back - giving over ‘life’ to me; having to sit and do nothing but pedal - sounds easy, but I think its harder!!! Just imagine, handlebars without steering, no way of changing gear, in fact everything being dictated to her by me and my decisions…..that would have been hell for me!!! We also acknowledged how testing it was on our communication: we both got a little niggled with the process early on (not helped by the wind rushing passed the ears). Summing up, imagine a situation where two novices are learning a new skill: but unlike most situations where you can learn at your own pace, here your skill level progression is dependent on another’s progress. I can’t think of another learning scenario like that off the top of my head.

I’m sure my patience was affected by a little tiredness - as usual, I’ve been haring around this week. Back from Italy late Sunday night, I’ve felt a battle against sleep deficit all week. My PBscience project is really gathering a pace now: but it has too, we launch in January! I love working on it though - for the first time in years, I cannot wait to get into work: for me, it feels a way of expressing my creative side: it might only be website design, but its the first project since my classical guitar days that I have worked on that has let me use my artistic side (which I know must come from my Mum, a fantastic artistic in her school days). Although its predominantly a solo project, I’ve been doing what I can to involve others: whether its asking the riders I currently coach for input, or meeting with colleagues for brainstorms. I’ve also been meeting my nutritionist friend Lucy-Ann for monthly business breakfasts. I know, it sounds like an excuse for me to drink nice coffee (!) but I have genuinely found it supporting to be working with L-A. Not only is she going to produce some content for me, but sharing her experiences in setting up her own online business with ‘Daily Bread’ has proved so invaluable….and much fun! Like minded souls, we share a passion for life, and our work. I leave our meetings feeling very charged and raring to go

More inspiration in my work came from another european trip this week. Three countries in 3 weeks: France for the Duo, Italy for the world champs; and now Holland for a symposium. Its not often as a sport scientist that a conference programme comes along that seems so exciting. When Jeanne first showed me the programme, I looked down the speakers and their titles, and I wanted to see all nine! We checked Easyjet times, our work diaries, did some shuffling, some ‘mmm-ing and arr-ing’ and we were off - all for a day trip.

The conference was on race pacing and fatigue, and featured the top scientists in this area. Half of the presentations were in Dutch (!) but from the English powerpoint slides, you could get the gist. It was interesting for me to reflect on my career path during the talks. I was listening not as a researcher, but as a sport scientist who does research, and who coaches. I had a different set of ears on from my previous conferences - and it was fun. As I listened, I was thinking about how the information would apply to my riders, how I could adapt training plans, help race performance. It was also helping me generate some exciting research ideas - and that’s not been happening for a while! For that alone, it was well worth the trip.

Because of the brevity of the trip, I didn’t get to see much of Holland on what was my first visit. I will definately be going back though - of course I will, because its another cycling made country!!!

Very flat, but very beautiful. As Jeanne and I drove back to the airport at the end of the day, we were planning how we could explore more another time: talk of a ferry trip over, cycling through Rotterdam to Amsterdam….maybe not on a tandem though!

Just what I needed - 5 days in the sun, having nothing to think about other than the best road side vantage point to take, where my next coffee was coming from, and most importantly, which toppings to have on my pizza

Varese, northern Italy - halfway between Milan and the Swiss border - host to the 2008 Cycling World Champs. As soon as I had seen the venue for the champs, I had it in my mind to make the trip. I love Italy, and even more so because its so close to where my Old Auntie Eileen lives…a good chance to spend some time with her. I liked the city, although it didn’t have the charm of other Italian cities I have been to - then again, is that a valid comparison? (Rome, Milan….). But yes, nice enough - and definately a cycling mecca - especially with the recently re-surfaced roads….a time triallists heaven!

And it was the time trial I had chance to get excited about first! Day 1 was the ladies, and the choice was made to go inside the stadium and watch events unfold from there. It was a good choice because Wednesday’s entry was free: I gather this is a fine example of how ladies are viewed as the ‘lesser’ of the two sexes in Italy!!

It was great fun being able to mill around with the support staff for the teams, and watch the riders have their bike checks in the warm-up area. I feared at one point that our two Brits, Emma Pooley and Sharon Laws would be band - so small are they I’m sure its a challenge to the UCI regs to have legal bikes! Pre-race, I even managed to convince one of the race volunteers that I was a friend of the British riders - hence my photo opportunity…..

Next day was the road race - and a road side vantage point SO close that I could have pushed the riders off if it had crossed my mind and I was evil enough…..thankfully for the nations competing, I was not. A very different experience to Day 1 of spectating - whereas with the women I got to see all the action, out on the road, I had no idea how the race was unfolding apart from taking unofficial splits as the riders came passed. But what it did allow was an appreciation of the shear speed, the effort, and the focus these top guys have. It was quite easy to distinguish between riders styles - the most impressive being the high cadence riders, so smooth and graceful, perhaps giving a false impression of ease. Standing watching 60 riders go past - and I cheered on every one (I’m sure Steve Cummings laughed at my French “Allez” - but I had to use the skill I picked up at the Duo?)

The ladies road race on Saturday was a chilly affair, but things soon warmed up when the action hit the final few laps. This time, the race experience was the square - which allowed live watching of the peleton as they thundered passed, and then a dash across the road for the big screen. The perfect venue to watch Nicole Cooke come home for a historic double in Olympic year. It was a privilage to be there in attendance. How the Italians laughed at this funny English girl jumping up and down, crying, screaming - okay, I’m not too proud of my jestures to the Dutch fans….but they had been annoying me in the final few kilometres as their rider Vos seemed sure of victory.

The final race was the men’s road race - and this was the one the crowds of Varese were out in force for. The Italians are so passionate about their sport, and it was only right that Alexandro Ballan gave them something to cheer by taking top spot. It was a lot of fun soaking up the atmosphere (and the sun) in their company. A lot of walking done that day (as parking near the city centre would have been fatal with a plane to catch 2 hours after the race end!)….so I gave in to the “gelateri” that afternoon.

Italy, what a place for cyclists! You’ll know that I am loving my European excursions these past few years. This time around was a little tougher, as I didn’t have my bike!! I would dearly love to return to Lombardy and the Italian lakes. Next year, the champs are in Mendressio, even closer to my “OAE”!

I shared a lovely time with OAE, spending an evening with her in one of my favourite worldwide venues, the village of Morcote. On the drive into Switzerland I got very emotional - memories of my childhood holidays visiting Eileen. It made Morcote the obvious choice for the evening meal - the home of Eileen the first time we went to see her. I also got to see her all day Friday, as I wasn’t too bothered about watching the Under 23 road race (although it was one of the best performances by the male GB team!!!). I was greeted with a morning coffee courtesy of her machine - when I visited last time, I was not quite the coffee queen I have become, so was unaware she also had a Nespresso!

We then spent the day in Ascona, a town on the side of Lake Maggiore. The lake is massive, some 60 miles around - and you can imagine what thoughts entered my head for next year’s trip By this time, it was 4 days straight of wall to wall sunshine, so a lunch by the lake helped top up my developing tan (one good thing about no bike? It gave me chance to get rid of my silly cycling mitt tan line!). We then drove up a nearby mountain (as you do!) for a stroll and a hot chocolate. I amused Eileen, because with some regularity I used the word ‘bike’ or ‘cycle’. It didn’t help when we passed a group of club riders tackling the 25km climb….how can a girl’s mind not wonder??

So yes, definately going back. It seems silly of me to not have been out more often, with or without my bike. I have a close bond with my Auntie, and whenever I see her, it makes me realise how special a family I have. I’m doing my best to convince her to come home for Christmas, as its just not the same without her….I’ve even offered to go out there and ‘pick her up’……perhaps a weekend trip with my bike?

I’ll leave you with a few more photos - I think they help sum up the 5 heavenly days I spent. “Grazie Mille Italia!”

Oh, I couldn’t resist this one, following on from my comments about France last weekend!!!

Its 4.30pm Monday, and I’m shattered! Its been a great weekend though, so well worth building up some fatigue. And, it wasn’t even me doing the hard exertion!

I’ve just got back from the Duo Normande - a famous event in the time trialling world, where teams of two cyclists take on a course in the beautiful region of Basse Normandie - around Marigny near Saint Lo to be exact. The women complete 38km, the men and mixed 54km. I was there on official duty with …a3crg: we had 8 teams in the event, spreading across 5 race categories. So, it was a tight logistical exercise - and I mean the whole weekend, not just race day! Paddy and David did an excellent jon managing us: I think they should register with ABTA

My weekend started at 5am on Friday, well 4:59 to be precise - I have an amazing ability to wake up 1 minute before my alarm. I jumped in the shower, rev-ved up the Nespresso machine, and I was in my car, bombing to Portsmouth to meet Ali, my weekend car companion. We hooked up in the car park at the port, threw her bike in the car, and ‘bumped’ into several other cyclists. Despite a 6 hour ferry trip to Caen, travelling with the team helped time fly by, and things started as they went on: fun, food and cycling chat - real ‘teamship’ in the making.

Friday night was the chance for the team to relax and let their hair down before the ’serious’ work of the race began in earnest. We went to the now annual venue of L’auberge in downtown St Lo. Much joking about the cuisine on offer, fuelled by red wine: I went for safety - an omelette - as I knew it had powered Ginge and I to a great ride in last years’ event. A lovely evening had by all.

Rather amazingly, all the riders were present and correct at 9am to leave the Hotel Ibis and travel over to Marigny for the course reccie. Ginge and I decided to ride the extra 9 miles there - a nice chance for mates to catch up with eachother: I love her company, and we had a good laugh together this weekend - she is doing her best to convince me to race again next year: she even ‘made me’ take a look at the tandems at the Duo: its tempting, and as the say in France ‘jamais dire jamais’!!

You’ll see from the photos that there was quite a crowd of us on the roads around Marigny on Saturday morning - we must have drawn an impressive sight! I loved it - being part of the team - ever since Paddy and David invited me to coach the ladies last year, I feel I have made a new family. I love them as a team, but I also love each individual for their own unique characteristics: I’m fortunate enough to have a good relationship with each, and that makes my job even more enjoyable.

I love them even if they do paint my nails pink - not me at all!! I wouldn’t let Dani get near my hands until I had proof that Sally actually had remover with her!!

I also love coffee, as you know - and Saturday afternoon gave me and Ginge the chance to sit in the autumnal sun and catch up with Annie, also there riding. A right little SIS re-union! I don’t think Annie likes Ginge in pink though - thank goodness she didn’t see my nails later that day!

The French have some lessons to learn in coffee making, and I continue to try and do my bit. I’m not so sure I can help them with their toliet situation though - grim as usual

I’m not going to even try to explain how I felt during race day, so as they say, pictures are a lot more effective than words - I was in my element.

I’m so confident that this move to coaching is right for me. Many people asked me if I was missing the buzz: but being in the following car, helping riders in their prep: that was an amazing experience. I even got into the Directer Sportif’s microphone role: just like my suggested pacing strategy we went through last weekend, I worked harder on the hills I even swore at Jez and Seb in the last 2km, as they battled to their second place in their category: first next year boys

I was SO very proud of them all: Jo “I’m doing 320Watts”, riding with Chris, who battled to make sure she climbed the hills with him; Ali and Jane who were competing in their first Duo - they deserved chips! Bryce and Paddy who met their race time target and some; and Jez and Seb, displaying terrier spirit to beat some fine pairings, Jez still not at full race fitness.

I’m so excited about our future journey together, roll on 2009!

So, I’m exhausted, and also a little sad today. A lot of the team travelled onto a gite for a week of riding in France before the Trio event next weekend. I would have liked to have gone, and I felt torn as Ali and I packed up to head to Caen. Thankfully, along with Jane, Chris and Trevor, I ate crepe for comfort

I also have Italy tomorrow, watching the World Champs, drinking REAL coffee, and best of all, catching up with my “Old Auntie Eileen”. Tired, but excited

So, what have I learnt this week? Well, the coaching role I have taken on has provided me with a space for continued learning. It might be expected that moving from competing to supporting competitors would be less stressful, but its not!

This weekend, I was again up in Ash Vale - as per usual, my careful logistical planning enabled me to ‘kill a few birds’ with the usual one stone. Up in London for the Madonna concert, I also made sure I worked with the …a3crg squad and then attended a double header weekend of racing for 6 of my charges. It all worked well - good job I had my clipboard with the full logistics of my operation.

Friday night, I took the …a3crg riders through the detail of the Duo Normande, our forthcoming event in France. We have 8 teams riding, and 19 of us travelling for the ‘Normandy invasion’ this Friday. I’m really excited to be going in my new coach role. And, Friday got us all in the mood. Dani, Jo and I were struggling though, as the night before we had only got home from Wembley in the early hours of the morning - actually, for Jo that was closer to ‘going to work’ hours of the morning. I felt relatively lucky to finally climbing under the duvet at 3am!!! A good night out though, if nothing else, it was fun to spend time with the ladies outside of the cycling context.

It meant that by Saturday, I was already in sleep debt from two later than normal nights. Nevermind, at least I had an easy day watching my riders - ha! How wrong was I!!! In fact, at one point, one female rider I used to race against overheard me say it was less hard work racing than coaching - to which she suggested she would announce my riding comeback - a little premature I feel However, looking after 6 riders was a challenge, even with my clipboard of timings: race start times and when I could be back at the HQ, or out on the A303 dual carriageway to spectate. At least I could go out in 3 shifts, as the riders were grouped near enough in pairs: Jo and Juliette, Chris and Richard, Jez and Paddy. I think it made my photographer friend, Barrie laugh - backwards and forwards past his roadside position in my car! I managed pretty well, although I nearly missed Richard, as I only managed to run to my lay by viewing point as he zoomed past - thankfully, caught him for a fair bit of time while he warmed up pre race.

So, how did they all do? Out of 6, 3 very happy athletes with PB rides - not bad? Jo, Richard and Jez were a little disappointed though, and its that experience for me that I found hard. I really felt for them - a race when they wanted that end of season performance, one they had aimed for and it didn’t quite come off. For Jez, it was a little different, as he is coming back into form after a mid-season lay off with illness and injury and had performed well last weekend in the BTTC event. For Jo and Richard though, I could feel their emotions as if they were my own. Frustration: “I know I’m fit, I could have done better today”; confusion: “where did it go wrong?”; disappointment: “This was the best chance I had for a PB ride all year”; and finally comparisons: “My friends / competitors have done well, I should have done too”.

As well as empathy, as coach, I have to try and figure out how and why these performances happen. Personally, I also find that I start to internalise, and wonder what part I played. Funny though, when a rider does well, I give them full credit, and don’t even consider its down to me! But, when a rider does less well, I can’t help but feel its my fault to some extent. And I think this is my lesson this week: it has to be that, or why else would I have 3 riders come away happy, and 3 riders come away having wanted more? These things happen for a reason, don’t they?

Its made me think about my measure of success as a coach. How do I rate myself as a coach? Is it the number of achievements my riders take? Rankings, personal bests? This weekend, am I an ‘okay coach’ because I have ’success’ and ‘failure’ in equal measure? Or, take Jez - a great ride to come 5th in his category last weekend in the BTTC event to only be ‘wiped the floor with’ (his words!) this weekend - have I become a lesser coach in one week? Of course not! But, its SO easy to do - to judged ourselves as people by the events that go on around us. For a rider to think of themselves as a bad cyclist after a mediocre ride; or for a coach to have feels of stature based on results of his / her riders.

Interestingly, my thoughts on this had started before the weekend. In my marketing work for PBscience, I have been contemplating the ‘benefits and features’ of my coaching services in order to sell them to the public. Having talked about it with Chris, one of my longest serving ‘customers’, he ‘told me off’. “Have you noticed that on your website, you put ‘you’ as the last benefit of subscribing to PBscience?” That got me thinking! He went on to advise me that being coached by ‘Helen’ was THE feature of PBscience - yes, the science underpinning the coaching is great, the lab testing is novel and exciting, the website is interesting and informative BUT, what makes it different is the way I work with riders, and the attention I give. I’m very big on communication, on being alongside the rider on their journey: meeting up face to face, being at races, going on training rides. This is the stuff Chris loves about working with me. He even said that his 2 weeks off work were fun because he could internet surf and bombard me with his email brainstorms - and I don’t ever complain!!

When I left my brother’s golf course after meeting up with him briefly Friday morning post ride for a coffee, I watched him talking with a player he coaches. I listened to the way Ady spoke, the interaction, the rapport. I watched the player, how he was deeply attentive to every word. I smiled: THAT is what I love about coaching - the interaction and the relationship. A feeling that you are working on a common project, problem solving. I’ve known most of my life that this is what I am good at and enjoy - I started it as a tennis coach in my teenage years, and finally, I am truly living it.

What better way to test my feelings towards not racing and ‘just’ being a coach? Attending the British Time Trial Championships in Gloucester this weekend in support of some of my athletes.

The BTTC is event is one I am very fond of: my best career result 3 years ago when I came 4th, narrowly missing out on the podium by seconds. For me, this event is THE national champs - as the type of time trialling it tests is the type you see on the continent and in pro racing: a test of biking skill, pacing, tactics - not just power down to a roundabout, turn and repeat!

I think I was asked 7 or 8 times - “You must miss racing?”. And, I can honestly say “no”! Maybe its because I have slipped into a new role, so a new identity. I may not have been racing, but I was still very much a part of things. I wasn’t ‘just’ a spectator….I had a role, as coach.

I travelled to Gloucester on Saturday morning, leaving a damp Eastboure and wondering if the event might even be cancelled. As, for not for the first time this year, it was a wet forecast - and the area is known for its ‘watersports’. But I did the 3.5 hour journey with a spring in my step - happy to listen to my ipod on route and do some life coaching homework with the audio files I had uploaded. I also had time to hop out at Reading services and buy my obligatory journey coffee. I think I overdid it this weekend - as my attempted sleep at the Premier Inn that night proved (or was it the CNDP Paddy made me drink?)

I arrived at race HQ in time to meet Dani at roadside jumping up and down. She hopped into the car and we drive the course - to be greeted by some confusing yellow signs trying to take us left prematurely compared to the start sheet. However, 2 miles later and the reason why became clear…2 feet of water across the course!!! So, we drove back to the yellow signs and then followed the arrows. The course was shortened by 2 miles each lap.

I think this shows the value of event prep. By driving the course, and then riding it, riders have a chance to look at issues brought up by the course. I had ridden this course a couple of years ago in a National Time Trial series - so for me it was a pity to have the course change…I was hoping local knowledge was an extra I could give to my riders Even better with today’s technology though is use of GPS systems. Two laps with the …a3crg contingent gave us some real life data from which to plot the course profile and plan the race tactics.

By the second lap of the reccie, we were all drowned rats. But, at least we weren’t squashed rats! At about 1/3 into the course second time around, I made a quip about “mind the fallen tree” to which no one took much notice - until they saw it in front of us. The weight of the rainfall brought a big branch of an oak down into our paths - I saw it fall, just a couple of hundred metres in front of us: a close call! Thankfully, we had waited for Jez before commencing lap 2 - maybe the difference!! When I did a 3rd lap with Chris and Linda (the others more sensibly went back to the Premier Inn to check in and get dry!) the tree had gone. THAT would have tested bike handling on race day!

My afternoon after the course reccie was spent looking at the collected GPS data and working out a race strategy to give to the riders. In the bar, over a cappucino, I first took Chris and Lin through the course; and then the …a3crg gang joined in. I love this part of my job: helping riders getting the most out of their fitness. Its one thing to write a programme and let the riders get on with it; but actually inputting into the ride ahead is so rewarding. Plus, it involves numbers so I am satisfying my scientists needs!!! I think it helps a rider’s confidence too: knowing that they have a plan to go into the ride with, and yes, a hidden trick up the sleeve.

Had a fun evening too - a table at the Beefeater, and six of us chewing over all things cycling. As mentioned above, Paddy bullied me into drinking some Chateau Neuf; whilst Bryce convinced me to go for the chocolate fudge sundae…..not that there was much chocolate OR fudge in that dessert - something I made a point of noting in my Premier Inn questionnaire that arrived in my inbox this afternoon! (I also mentioned my lack of sleep - but that might have been pre-race excitement, the red wine, PLUS throw in the coffee as well as the noise!) Good job I was not racing!

I woke up early Sunday morning and joined the riders for their breakfast - considering I lacked choccie fudge, the least Beefeater could do was give me a freebie croissant! That was brekkie number two for me, having been up at 6am, watching the Paralmpian cycling highlights (well done to my colleague and friend Gary - coach to several of GB stars!). By 9am, I was at race HQ, catching up with lots of friends I have made on the cycling scene. Its for this reason I don’t feel I am out of the system. I was able to chat more with people because I didn’t have a race ahead to distract me: I had the buzz, but without the anxiety. Although, I did find myself getting a little nervous as I saw my riders setting up turbos, preparing kit. I suppose that’s good - because I care passionately about them as people, and about their performances.

A fun time watching - a3crg took over the roundabout at the end of the lap - a bit of a scarey place to watch, as riders flew around the bend and quite often went over the white line on the other side of the road. Too many sunday drivers on hand too! Best bit though was having the pub on the corner serving ‘frothy coffee’ - and at cheaper prices than the WI staffed race HQ! (Ginge was NOT impressed at the pricing policy!) The atmosphere led to our crowd starting a book on the men’s race: what time would Michael Hutchinson do? I suppose I over-estimated Michael’s performance ability….and I should know better, so much for the scientist and her numbers!!

So, how did I feel watching the ladies race? I did wonder where I would have come - I imagine that’s inevitable. But, I had no desire to be out there. I think at one point, I did visualise me in my SIS kit, crouched in TT position on my Cervelo dream machine, making that whooshing sound. But I know I can capture that feeling whenever I choose. I don’t have a desire for results, just the whooshy feeling, and just for me. I’m more likely to race in club races for fun, or to jump on a tandem with Ginge: we again talked of this plan at the weekend….now, where can we get a TT tandem? Mmmmmmmm

Nothing like a week holiday to give you a chance to reflect, and perhaps take a perspective. Also, of late, my transition back to full time has left me with less time to reflect - too much structure, too much routine…and cycling got ousted! In this case, a week of holiday in France meant that my thoughts were biased towards cycling - for many, France is a cycling (if not a coffee) paradise!

Like when I went to the Alps last year with Andy, I had chance last week to be a tourist on a bike - no worries about heart rate or power measurements, and no real concerns about time spent riding (other than not being late for my hosts’ dinners!). So, why do I cycle my bike?

Reason number one: The Tourist
On a bike, you can travel further, and see more. The French countryside is quite different to home. Not so much around the big cities, but definately when you get out into rural communities. On Tuesday, I cycled from Paris (where I had been at the weekend) to Chartres (the venue for the rest of my week away). A 55 mile route, taking me past some unusual territory - its not every day you cycle past a palace like Versailles, nor travel along roads still fresh with paint from the Tour de France’s run into Paris!

Reason number two: So I can indulge more
This benefit is something I enjoy more now as a non-racing cyclist! When competing, I always wanted my body in tip top shape - I was careful about what I ate during training phases, as the quality of my sessions was important to me: eat badly, you have poor fuel. I don’t think enough cyclists (any athletes) realise this….many have the perspective that exercise cancels out junk food - wrong, very wrong! During this time when performance is less important to me, I am sitting the other side of the fence - knowing I am keeping myself healthy with exercise, I am happy to indulge Yes, more coffee stops, and yes more cake / less Rego! Quite rightly though, I remain faithful to my Science in Sport sponsors!!! but when in France, you HAVE to do as the French do! Lunch is always more than a sandwich, but don’t let them convince you that this means lighter suppers…oh no, they like their fare in the evenings too! It might be a soup, but then the cheese and bread comes out - and how can I be rude??

Reason number three: spending time with friends and like minded souls
The week was spent with Jeanne and her family - lesson here, choose friends wisely: the best choices are those with family in nice locations; even better are those with family in two lots of nice locations! Jeanne’s brother and sister live in Paris (you get the picture, cafes, monuments, shops, nice food, who said wine?); and her Mum and Dad in the catholic stronghold of Chartres, SW of the capital. As you’ll remember from the other week, Jeanne does some triathlons, so she was very happy to come out on the bike - and it was fun to do that with a native, especially if my map reading went wrong, or the waiter did not understand my question “is that cappucino with chantilly cream or milk?”!!! Jeanne didn’t do my Paris - Chartres epic with me, but she was support car, providing me with a great post ride cheese and ham baguette and vanilla Yop…..mmm, perhaps that should have been Vanilla rego?

Reason number four: I love bike bling
My cycle ride from Paris to Chartres left me with a problem - a rather nasty cut in my rear tyre, probably because of my ‘cyclo-cross’ ride through the town of Dampierre, desperate NOT to have to give in to a ‘Deviation’ of my pre-planned Garmin route. It was a long enough route without having to turn around, re-trace (up a climb of 10 switch backs!), and re-navigate. Clever me though (not Garmin assisted I have to say) found a small route which gave me chance to explore some small roads and more beautiful houses. Anyway, enough of ‘pretty’, this paragraph is all about bling! The tyre and nasty inner tube protrusion meant a trip to Decathlon….shame. And, for the second year running, the purchase of some Michelin Pro Race tyres while in France. This year though, I plumbed for red - not my first choice, but rather tasty don’t you think? They match my SRM computer and my SIS kit I love buying bike kit - in fact, not racing my TT bike makes me miss out on technology.

Reason number five: Cyclists need coffee
This is not myth - I have been testing this theory for some years now! Its a well known fact that in order to avoid event day mis-haps, its always wise to try things in training. Because I use caffeine in my race preparations, its only right that I practice loading most days. Now, France aren’t the best coffee makers in the world (Italy win, going there in a few weeks, yippee!!!!) but they do cafes rather well. I thought I would post a few of my collection!

You’ll have picked up that I am not impressed with French coffee by now….but Jeanne and I are doing our to improve this: we are convinced that the more we ask the the “c’est creme du lait?” question, and change our order if its a chantilly cream based cappucino, the more we think market forces will win through. I am 100% sure that since my first regular visits to Lille (2003?), more cafes now sell proper cappucinos.

Reason number six: advocating regular exercise for health
You can’t just talk the talk, you have to follow it up….and being a sport scientist, I always feel I needed to do a sport too - it was because my PhD was in running that I took that up! A knee injury later, I’m on the bike, and the rest is history. It was great to see the health phenomenon creeping it over in France too - more joggers around the Palatial lake at Versailles, and the frequent site of bike hire centres in the streets of Paris - hope London follow suit too! Although i tried to convince Jeanne we should hire one during our stay, I think she was quite right to convince me otherwise. Nonetheless, it made me more determined to ride the Champs Elysee one day - perhaps the London to Paris cyclosportive next year? (did I mention I have joined the Cyclists Touring Club?!)

Reason number seven: Learning
You know me by now, but I wanted to save the best until last! Riding my bike, especially competitively, has taught me a lot about who I am, in all areas of my life. In the last four years especially, I have explored my ‘need’ to compete, a ‘need’ to prove something to myself and others - how I defined myself by my race results. I raced well, I was happy; I race badly, I was unhappy. Its interesting how often we judge ourselves as people by what we do, not by who we are. Why not be happy riding my bike, regardless of the result? It sounds easy doesn’t it, but ’success’ is what drives a lot of people, and if don’t get it, we can be very harsh on ourselves.

I’m not competing right now, but I’m still learning - but more through my coaching of cycling. As a rider, I really freed myself of expectation; and now, its interesting being on the sidelines, watching my athletes I coach go through their own ‘ups and downs’: bad races, good races; good training form, bad health or injury; excitement about the racing, or stress in life. I love my riders, and I’m attached to them as people. I have to take great care not to become attached to their results too, like I once was with my own. I’m not talking about reflected glory - thinking I’m a good coach because a rider of mine has a great ride…..no, a great coach in my view, is someone there to guide, support and be dedicated to the athlete no matter if they are performing well or under par.

While in France I had cause to think about this alot - keeping up to date with my riders’ progress via email and online training diaries, I had to fight sometimes to remain de-tached. At times, I felt my energy levels change dependent on training diary entries, race results. I wanted the best for them, yet if it didn’t come, I felt my mood worsen - really interesting for me to reflect on why, and I think its a pitfall of the profession - to feel an element of responsibility, and even ‘blame’. So yes, I’m still learning!!!

What else did I do in France? It was a great week, truly relaxing - despite the long ferry journey both ways (5 hours with children enjoying their last tastes of freedom before school starts!). Two of the nicest experiences were firstly, visiting the garden of Monet at Giverny - what a place, what a painter! He’s long been my favourite; and secondly, having chance to run around the gardens of Versailles, the lake in fact. Don’t you just love the GPS trace of my route?

Its Sunday morning, and I have just finished watching former SIS team mates, Becs and Wendy, fight it out for the Individual Pursuit Gold at the Olympics. Really surreal watching them race - a very emotional event, and so pleased for them both. Just a shame there had to be a runner-up, but Wendy’s silver is something to celebrate - just shows what you can do, coming from the humble beginnings of domestic time trialling. Well done Becs, well done Wendy.

Domestic time trialling - this is where I associate with most. And, there is no more clearer example of what that scene is than when you visit a race HQ on a grassy verge next to a country road in the middle of no-where, like I did yesterday, watching a3crg ride in a mixed 2-up (They did have a toilet facility - a tent with portable loo! I didn’t trust it though ,and found a hedge!!!) We had 5 teams riding - team time trialling has become the club’s fortee. In four weeks time, we have our major race of the season ahead - the Duo Normande. Its a race I did last year, but this year I go as support crew - quite a different role, but one I am enjoying.

Another former SIS team mate (they are all dropping like flies!) Lesley (aka Ginge) joined me in the heavily badged up Director Sportif car. Lovely to see her - since we have both stopped racing this season, I have seen less of her, and I miss that. We had to laugh when we were driving to our vantage point, there we were WATCHING a time trial - very funny. Ginge asked me if I missed racing. I DO miss something, but its hard to know exactly what: I don’t miss the highly structured training, I don’t miss the pre-race anxiety, I don’t miss the busy weekends and having to travel. But, there is something I miss about testing myself; the post-race buzz, and of course the people - even attending races, its not quite the same as sharing the race with fellow athletes. We talked about having an identity - Lesley feeling she doesn’t have as strong one now she is not racing, for me, I have swapped for another.

But, life is busy enough for me without racing and the athlete lifestyle. Work is very busy and exciting - my project, PBscience progresses well. In fact, I know I have to be careful - when I take on a project, I really live it! So, I am carefully ‘rationing’ my time at work, or I know it will consume me!!! I’m enjoying thinking of how to grow the company, and marketing is a big priority. Working with a3crg for that is an exciting perspective, and Paddy has already helped that with the car stickers Paddy feels I need a wheel rack now - maybe next year?

Working hard for 4 days this week allowed me to take an easier day on Friday. Plan A had been to cycle over to Kent, but the doomsayer weather forecaster put Jeanne and I off our tandem plan. Instead, we ended up meeting Louis and family for an unusual trip on a Steam train from Tenterden to Bodium. A fun afternoon, and just what I needed in order for me to switch off my brain and de-stress before the weekend.

Well, we’re now half way through the Olympics - and, like the Tour de France, I will be sad to see it end. What will I do? Well, we have the Tour of Spain coming up AND then the World Champs, but nearing the end of August is a little depressing - time marches forward. But, I will make the most of the sport still on view. Sad though to watch Paula Radcliffe and her obvious pain just to finish the Olympic marathon - for me, today has summed up the tow extremes that sport brings: self challenge, pursuit for success - Becs vs Paula, how can you contrast those emotions? Becs was interviewed post race - tears, ones of relief, happiness, release of such energy as she banishes the memories of her ‘failure’ in Athens where she claimed silver in rowing. Paula also cried, but her tears were of frustration - her body prevented from giving its best because of her stress fracture only months before the Games. The highs, the lows. I think that’s what I am missing - those extremes. Its a lot ’safer’ living in the middle of the time, but unless you stretch yourself, you don’t experience both extremes. Are the highs worth experiencing the lows? Good question!

Many apologies Blog fans - a quick one this week AND I’m going to cover a fortnight!!! I guess my busy-ness is a sign of how well my return to full time work is going?

Most days have been full on since 1st August, ‘D-day’. First job was painting my office: I’ve been in this office a while now, but the start of this new phase in my working career deserved a symbolic lick of paint on the walls. It feels nice to have done this - seeing as I will be spending more time in there now, I wanted it ‘just right’. With my coaching work now being a part of my Uni role, I also envisage this space - the attic area of an old Victorian building - being a consulting area as much as an office (it justifies the coffee machine too!)

Other than long days working on ‘PBscience’, the last fortnight has really been about two weekend trips. The first one to Chester to complete the 5th of my 6 Life Coaching module days. Nice to use that course as a bit of an excuse for a weekend break. I love Chester, its a beautiful city. I spent a lot of time there with my ex, Jamie, as his parents lived on the Wirral. So, returning after a period of about 4 to 5 years stirred up some memories. I did text Jamie with words to this effect - in return, I got a message from the Joux-Plane which he had just cycled up in the boiling hot sun!

The course went well, and in fact was perfect timing - I intend to integrate my life coaching as a service offered by PBscience. So, the content on ‘the practicalities of getting going’ was very appropriate! I have many actions from my day at Wychwood Golf course - when will I do them all I wonder? While at work I reply - that’s a nice thought…no cramming it in around everything else!!

I visited a different venue than the normal Latimer House because this weekend (when Latimer was hosting this particular module) I was at London Triathlon, supporting both Jeanne and Kevin in their sprint and olympic distance events respectively. So, second weekend running, living from a suitcase, eating in restaurants, and of course, finding Costa / Starbucks! Thankfully, the Premier Inn where we stayed had a Costa in its lounge!!!

Both Kevin and Jeanne broke their personal bests for the events, so all in all, a good weekend. The weather wasn’t great though, but then we’ve come to expect that this summer? As it is, as I write, the weather forecast for this week is looking bad, bad, bad - which might scupper a plan to do a tandem ride to see Louis and Sarah in Kent with Jeanne. Of course, that might suit her considering the efforts of the weekend!!

More photos from my last two weeks

I mentioned last week my ‘3 Cs’ and added in late perhaps the biggest C of my life right now – ‘Coaching’. This week reinforced how central it is to my life right now, having organised a whole weekend around meeting up with some of my ‘coachees’. I must be motivated, as I cycled a round trip of 150 miles to enable my meetings!

Friday morning, I cycled up to Ash Vale, my ‘base’ for the weekend – as per usual, Mum and Dad providing amazing hospitality (Dad, I will forgive you for buying raspberry and not strawberry jam!). I left Eastbourne early, as I wanted to arrive in time for lunch, and to settle down for some Tour watching. Mission accomplished, being blessed with a tailwind!

My first appointment was in Starbucks, Guildford, meeting Jez, a new recruit to the ‘Coach Carter’ regime. Jez is one of the male team members of a3crg. Along with my beginning to coach Paddy, the team owner, I feel I am infiltrating the male ranks! That’s exciting for me, and I sense a bigger benefit to the team set up if I help enhance the culture through coaching. I’m also excited to be coaching Jez, a strong rider – its going to test my coaching skills to the limit, as its undoubtedly more challenging to coach someone who has already maximised a lot of their ability. Jez seems to resonate with my coaching philosophy though – most importantly, my need for coffee and cake!

Day 2 of coaching business was centred on meeting Jo for a ride around the Surrey countryside. Even though I am a local girl, Jo found roads for me I had not ventured down before – thankfully, its all saved on my Garmn for use at a later stage! Mind you, there is one patch of road I will be avoiding – the segment that caused me to double puncture!!! Can you believe it? Two in one hit? Not the best of news when I was only carrying one spare inner tube – thankfully, Jo also had one. Not so good was when BOTH spares then punctured again, probably from a little piece of flint still in the tyre rim, “bother�, I exclaimed – I was thinking something a little stronger! The third thing to be thankful for was Jo having an ‘ex’ living just round the corner – she pedalled round to see if Simon was in, and he was – back they came with more tubes and pump. It was only 45 minutes by the side of the road – at least we topped up our tans AND Jo got a little more respite between hard interval blocks! We didn’t let that 45 minute delay interfere with our coffee time.

Day 3, and cycling back to Eastbourne. Again, I left early – but not for Tour watching this time, but in order to catch Richard riding his 100 mile time trial on the roads of the Sussex / Surrey border. It was a very hot day, and Richard’s stickability really impressed me – I’ve never ridden a 100 before, but on my way back from Dial Post to Eastbourne, I could only contemplate how it must have felt to ride in those temperatures in race mode – it was bad enough riding sedately at 17mph! I love watching my riders race – it brings everything to reality. By the time I got home, I was toasted, but counted my blessings that I did not puncture again! I ended a very nice weekend by watching the Tour peloton race around the Champs Elysee – and eating a lot!

Eating a lot – yes, I did a lot of that too this weekend – essential fuel you see Not only was there cake in Starbucks on Friday, but I then went on from Guildford to see my brother and family. I had to be arm twisted to agree to pizza (!), but knowing I had still a few miles to traverse, I reluctantly agreed that this was a fine source of carbohydrate. I wasn’t so sure about the hydration strategy sis-in-law Lyn suggested – but I do think rose is a little better than red when it comes to warding off hangovers (Jo did tell me she would have Nurofen for me the next morning if needed!)

I decided that Saturday night I would forego the wine when Mum and I went out for dinner – unusual for me when we make a trip to The Swan. My resolve was not quite as strong when it came to dessert I must confess. But again, fuelling for the next day was on my mind (can you see a cyclist in denial here?)

Its back to work now – my 3 weeks of leave are over. But, at least it gives me something to occupy myself with, as I will be missing the Tour now that has ended. Last week’s stages were so much fun – especially the one up the Alpe d’Huez, bringing me back memories of my ride up there last year. Andy and I spent the afternoon texting eachother as the peloton climbed around the 21 hairpins. Quite amusing that both of us were following coverage wearing appropriate attire….

Being back to work IS nice though, as now I feel I can make progress on PBscience, and in particular, work on integrating my coaching work into my University role. That would make my 4th C an ever bigger part of my life – I’d better get back into training then!

In the world of swim coaching, Jeanne has explained to me that technique can be enhanced by keeping in mind the 3 cs: control, continuous, complete. As I woke up this morning, it made me giggle to myself that my life this week could be described by 3 Cs….

Cycling: Compared to last week, the weather has improved - not to now basking in July heat, but at least the sun has come out a little. Its meant my road miles have increased, and I have lived the routine I wanted during my 3 weeks of annual leave. The week started with a nice ride accompanied by SIS team mate and fellow Eastbourne resident, Sarah. Sarah is training for the Hawaii Ironman and this was a ‘crash’ week of training. She also had the National 100 mile TT champs on Sunday (at which she came 9th, well done S!).

I have also been somewhat of a training partner for Jeanne this week: she has the London Triathlon in 4 weeks, so I have tried to support her with that. I got my running shoes out on Saturday for a wind swept 5 miler along the seafront - one the worst things of having a Garmin GPS is that you can see ‘min:mile’ paces that destroy your soul! In speaking with Kevin and Brioni later that day, they explained they had run with the wind behind them - I would have thought of that had I been biking, but you see, I’m still a novice runner! The next day of our Triathlon camp was a 3 hour ride - 4 for me in fact as I did a sneaky loop before joining Jeanne to ride to Lewes. Our reward? Coffee in Bill’s, yum.

Coffee: did you see the seamless transition into the second C? Yes, lots of coffee drinking too this week. But as you know, I need the substance to keep my brain moving on projects. I spent a few hours in Costa Friday afternoon, considering plans for my coaching work with a3crg. I love this planning process, and I am evolving from ‘just coach’ to a true ‘performance director’! I have lots of ideas and I’m excited to start the annual plan: sometimes I find myself starting to wish the summer away and get to the start of the year again with the winter pre-season training! But, I know I have more summer cafe visits to do yet

Perhaps my most well earnt was that one I had on Alfriston. I planned to meet friends for coffee there after doing a ‘2 hour’ loop. Confident with my GPS on the bike now that I have found out how to plan a route and upload it onto my Garmin pre-ride, I set off into the Sussex lanes. Amazing to discover new places even though I have been cycling for 6 years around here now. The weather was lovely too….so Helen was enjoying herself. Until I lost satelite coverage for 5 mins!!! Not knowing the roads, I had to weave out through following place names I recognised. By the time I located myself, a quick check of my Garmin revealed 30 mins to travel 10 miles: easy on a Cervelo P3 with disc wheel, but not so easy on a bumpy route with a headwind!!! Needless to say, I enjoyed my coffee

Cake: Its hard to resist cake at Badgers tea room in Alfriston…but I did! Amazing discipline I hear you remark - not really, I just knew I had to save myself for that afternoon. As a special leaving treat for Jeanne’s sister, I had schemed a surprise visit to The Grand for afternoon tea. And what a tea - I like scones, but as soon as I see carrot cake on the menu, there is NO decision to be made!

Two more: Curry and crepe! I couldn’t leave my account of the week without mentioning some food. It was my duty to introduce Marie to the delights of the English National dish - she didn’t select Tikka Masala though! As a form of retaliation, the following night she and Jeanne cooked Crepe for Kevin, Brioni and I. Do you like the wine bottle?

Its no wonder I have had to keep the miles going this week - with 3 weeks leave this kind of routine could leave me as the worst hill climber in Sussex! Good job this is my last week off - although, I will miss watching the Tour.

Finally, a sentimental moment. My flat needed some clearing out doing, so that (alongside DIY!) has been one of my tasks while off work. Saturday morning, I decided to go through some paperwork - I knew that I did not need to keep all my time trialling results. I had these stored in 6 ring binders, and I made the decision to keep only those from National Championships. It was so funny looking back to my very first races, seeing some old names, and ones emerging on the scene alongside myself. I had to send Ginge a text: one of my first races in 2002 was a 10 mile race near Farnham, and there we were listed. When I first started time trialling, the names I measured myself by were her and Gill Reynolds. I spent a lovely time looking back - it gave me second thoughts about throwing them all into the recycling.

But sometimes, you have to close the door behind you in order to get excited about the door opening. So, you could call it therapy! I’ve just realised that in reality, my life IS about 4 Cs - how could I forget ‘Coaching’?

This was NOT the plan! It was meant to be 21 days of the same routine - a leisurely breakfast, a long ride in the sun, and then an afternoon of Tour de France watching. However, the British summer has scuppered me - I’ve even had to get the turbo trainer out in order to ride! At least The Tour makes good turbo watching material.

No, I’m no going to moan too much, as I’m on holiday - and not even the wind and the rain can stop me completing the second part of my plan: watching ‘Le Tour’. I look forward to these 3 weeks for the whole year! So, armed with my various Tour magazines (4 in total this year: Cycling Weekly, Procycling, Cycle Sport, and the Tour official guide) its been at least 2 hours each afternoon with my feet up, kept company by Bert and Ernie. As always, very inspiring. This year, I have even been keenly watching the sprint stages, as our very own Mark Cavendish is in the peloton. Two stages so far - more to come? And, how about a gold at the Olympics later this year? What a great summer of sport

Although its nice to be on leave, I'm not the best at relaxing...in fact, it can be quite stressful for an achiever like me! On Day 3 of my hols, I was already getting twitchy, so off to B&Q it was - having decided that the light mornings had brought my sleep to a premature end one too many times....so I bought some dim out roller blinds. While drilling, I reflected on my inability to relax and truly switch off - its something I want to learn to dampen a little more - I'm getting there, but it still goes against the 'Here and now' philosophy I try to live by. So, it made me laugh when the Eurosport coverage that afternoon presented the field art popular in France!!

One thing that has helped me find some relaxtion is having been helping Jeanne entertain her sister who is over from France. Doing the ‘tourist bit’ has stopped me getting carried away with DIY!!! Although saying that, I did drag them both over to a garden centre to buy some plants for my veranda! BUT, we did pop into a lovely Tea Room in Pevensey - a cracking find, and one that I will be visiting more often.

I think part of my pre-occupation this week had been knowing that I had an assessment on the horizon: Day 3 of my British Cycling course in Oxford. It was another early start, as I had decided to do a day trip there and back. So, yet again, on the road by 5.30am, and yet again, aided by coffee! I arrived at the swish venue of Eynsham Hall in plenty of time - so more coffee while I waited for the others. In fact, by the end of the morning, I had drunk 4 rather strong coffees….I think I had verbal diarhoea for my practical exam!

When the others started to arrive, I had a lovely surprise - my assessor was someone I knew, in fact a cyclist I used to coach, Theresa. It felt quite ‘appropriate’ that I was being examined in my ability to coach by an ex-athlete of mine! Thankfully, she is an ‘ex’ athlete of mine not because she thought I was doing a bad job, but because she moved to London! It was lovely to catch up with her, and to see her in a new role working for British Cycling. It was another fun day doing the coaching, and pleasing because I passed the practical - I am nearly there now, and its just down to my portfolio being approved - 12 weeks to wait!

It was a nice feeling to get another step under my belt. On Sunday, I spent my time working on my next Life Coaching module too - preparation for what will be Day 5 out of 6. By the autumn, I hope to have a lot of study behind me: but not that its stops the learning - that’s always ongoing for me. But what will be nice soon is freeing up time to be able to ‘learn on the job’ a bit more. In some ways, I think that is part of my ’stress’ being on leave - I’m too impatient to get back into work and start moving the coaching business on!

But, I’m not wishing time away - HERE AND NOW, I have to remember that. So, I’m off to watch the Tour….they are in the pyrenees today and I cannot wait!

I’m enjoying myself right now - and not just because I am on leave! On my (wet!) training ride this morning, I was thinking how ‘connected’ I feel right now. In the book I have just finished reading, Eckhart Tolle would describe it as having my outer purpose in line with my inner purpose. And, I think he has a point.

I was explaining this to Chris on our training ride together on Saturday - him asking how I was enjoying myself post the National 25. I described it as not having any tension - the life I am living now is completely in tune with how I want it to be at my very core. Maybe in part its because I am just ‘being Helen’ (my inner purpose) who is enjoying ‘doing her coaching’ (my outer purpose). Its something I have worked on these past few years anyway, breaking free of identifying myself through a role, like ‘Helen the researcher’ or ‘Helen the cyclist’. Now, I’m definately not the latter!

Actually, saying that, even though Chris gave me a hard task, hanging onto his wheel on Saturday made it a ‘brisk’ ride, I was very happy with how my fitness is considering the reduced the training volume. I think the running is helping me keep some form. It made me very aware that I like being fit, and how being able to ride with the athletes I coach is integral to my coaching philosophy - I want to spend this quality time with them: you learn a lot about a rider being out there on the road. But more than that, it allows you to SHARE time - and sharing is something that helps people connect. I was quite happy working hard, sitting on the wheel, taking Chris’ draft….not sure I enjoyed the hills so much!

What is evident to me is that how sometimes, you have to take one step in order to command two forward: for me, taking a break from competition is something my body (and mind) was asking for. Although I am still riding, and not really much less than when in full training, there is a different level of intensity - mental intensity that is. I can see something similar in Chris - he’s back on endurance sessions after having taken a mid-season break. Just lifting the foot off the intensity will allow him to reach a higher peak later this season. Thankfully, post ride (and after the post-ride trip to Starbucks!) I was able to put my feet up and watch the Tour de France opening stage back at Mum and Dad’s.

One step back to take two forward - sounds simple doesn’t it? But how many times do we make that investment? I was full of admiration for the a3crg ladies on Friday night, who took this all in their stride. We did a session on cornering, and after watching them all take the corner prior to any instruction, I asked them to rate where they felt they all were in terms of skill level. We went through some coaching points, and they went again. What happened? Worse performances! At this point, you have to really trust the coaching process: for when you give more information to a learner, skill will drop - as Jane reflected ‘there is so much to think about’ and that’s exactly what happened - or, as Tim Gallway the author of The Inner Game would explain ‘Performance = Potential + interference’….I had introduced interference which had temporarily reduced performance. Without doing this, they would never have given themselves to improve.

Thankfully, they really started making ground, and by the end of the session, all of them were whooshing around the corner - I was so impressed….and relieved! To de-construct people’s skill level is quite scary, and the riders have to really trust the coach to let them do that. After the weekend, I talked about this with Jeanne: as she has the same with her swimmers - some of them have been swimming for 10, 15 years, so to learn a completely new technique is hard, and the mental battle of confronting a temporary reduction in form is a tough one: so anyone who does, is brave.

And, maybe I was brave too (or stupid!) - doing this to three riders who were due to ride the National Team Time Trial Champs only two days later!! Sunday morning was an early start for me, hitting the road at 5am in order to get up to Loughborough, drive around the course, and get back to the HQ to see the team before their start time of 8:30. Thankfully, the M1 is not short of service stations

The ladies were the only female team in the Champs - a real shame: for womens’ TT-ing; but also for Jo, Jo and Sally - no-one to measure themselves against. They could only take our words for it that their’s was a fine effort. Not many women can ride as close on a wheel as I observed on Sunday, awesome they really were. Even more impressive was the Teamship on display - in the final 10 miles, Jo snapped her gear cable, meaning she could not get into the big ring on the front. Sally and Jo supported her through this - the three of them really grasping that team time trialling is just that: you can only go the speed of the slowest rider, in this instance, being down to a mechanical. I think the ladies impressed the men’s teams too - next they’ll be wanting some cone and limbo practice!

Monday morning, I had cause to talk more about the a3crg ladies’ performance. I was up in London meeting Louis and Peter Keen (of UK sport) to talk about how we can improve the interface between elite sports performance with sport scientists based in academia. Both Pete and Louis are rare examples of having a proven track record in both camps. Louis asked me after the meeting if it had made me think more about my own coaching aspirations. Previously, I had talked at length with Louis about how I would like to experience what its like to work with elite athletes: and after this meeting, I was still conscious of how little I know about that life, or as I described it ‘what happens behind the door’. But Louis reassured me that I knew most of what is to know - except experiencing the grind! By that, he meant the pressure, the need to ‘live it’ 24/7. He went on to explain that my own experience of being an athlete would take me a long way to knowing what I need to know. The rest, I would get from my current coaching. It was at that point that I told him about the a3crg time trialling of the day before, and how much satisfaction I get from that performance, and indeed, all the work I do with the team. Perhaps this coaching experience is giving me all I need?